Chapter 1: Week One

Monday

Monday and Tuesday were a blur to me.  I can remember many events of those days, but not the times or the order in which they happened.  I remember signing consent forms for my blood transfusion.  I remember Aaron telling me that he had confirmed the name Isaac Alexander for our baby's birth certificate (the name we had decided on Thursday evening).  I remember being awakened by my nurses a couple times between Sunday night and Monday morning for bathroom opportunities, but when I kept blacking out before getting out of bed, they would tuck me back in, wait a couple hours, and try again.  I remember them telling me that I had to be able to walk and void my bladder before we could be transferred to the post partum floor and they could take me to meet my son.  At one point, we were making progress.  I had sat up, turned myself so my legs were dangling over the bed, and was getting ready to stand, but fell asleep (Aaron: You didn't fall asleep; you jiggled like jelly and slumped back in the bed).

Aaron: Um, I think she blacked out.
Cindy: (in a slurred voice from my slumped position) No, I didn't. I'm fine.
Nurse: Back into bed; we'll try again later.

A while later, the nurses came back.  I remember panicking because my legs felt like pins and needles and my hands were so tingly and swollen, I couldn't wiggle my fingers.  They explained to me that this was a normal response to the combination of the blood transfusion and IV fluids, and that it would decrease over the next few hours.  My bathroom attempt was successful, and I was officially cleared to ride in a wheelchair to the NICU and meet Isaac.  He was he tiniest miracle I've ever seen.

After a brief visit, I was wheeled up to my new room, with a much more comfortable bed and a conversion chair/bed for Aaron, as opposed to the lumpy chair he has been attempting to sleep in before.  The rest of the day was filled with naps, visiting with Aaron's family, talking to doctors, nurses, a lactation specialist, getting bllod drawn, vitals taken, etc.  By mid afternoon, Aaron's parents had to say farewell for their drive home, but his brother Bryan was able to stay for a couple more hours.  Normally, the rules are very strict in the NICU and only parents and grandparents may visit, but since we had contacted the hospital chaplain about performing a baptism, Bryan was allowed to enter the NICU for the ceremony.  He was nice enough to take photos and video of the ceremony, after which we were presented with the tiniest baptismal shell I've ever seen, and a certificate commemorating the the event.

(photo/video coming soon)

By evening, Bryan had left, my parents had arrived, and they had their first encounter with their newest grandchild.  They left early to go to our house, take care of the pets, and we slept.

Tuesday

Tuesday was the biggest blur to date.  We had very little sleep and were bombarded through the entire day with more information than I could possibly absorb.  We met with my doctor, a post partum therapist, a lactation specialist, a social worker, an education consultant, and my discharge nurse, each with a packet of information to take home.

 First Touch

The best part was seeing Isaac and getting to touch him!  This will be limited for quite some time, because his nervous system is not developed enough to handle much in the way of physical contact.  It was amazing to see how he can wave his little hands, wiggle his little toes, and the nurses tell us how feisty he is.  Go, Doozer, go!

Tiny fingers and tiny toes

By evening, Aaron and I finally had some down time and were both lucid enough to discuss the weekend.  He helped me put events in order, fill the gaps, and explain the information I hadn't absorbed earlier.  It was nice to finally grasp the events of the weekend.  Once more, physically and emotionally exhausted, we slept.

Wednesday

Wednesday I was discharged from the hospital.  It was a bittersweet and emotional day.  I was eager to get home to my own shower and my own bed, but didn't want to leave, knowing we would only get to see our son once a day instead of 2-3 times as we had been doing.  However, we felt secure that we were leaving him in good hands, and we knew we could call for updates as frequently as we like.  Before we left, we went to the NICU for a couple more visits between the morning and afternoon, soaking up some more photos and videos:

 first face time with Isaac

 

Waving good morning

 

Big kicks and wiggling toes

Thursday

Today marked another big day for Isaac.  He had his first ml of colostrum, which they call a gut stem feeding.  It's just enough to coat his stomach and prepare his intestinal tract for feedings (plus he's still on his IV for continuous nutrition).  The nurses check for any residual after six hours, and if it has been digested into his tract successfully, they give another ml.  If he does well on 4 ml a day, they'll increase his feedings to every three hours (8 ml a day), and so forth.  We also got to see him laying on his stomach for the first time.  He's rotated every few hours into different positions, but we will probably see him more on his belly for a while, because it aids in both his breathing and digestion.

beautiful baby back

While visiting with Isaac this afternoon, he was a regular little wiggle worm.  He was stretching his legs, pushing his tushy way into the air, almost into a downward dog position.  He's so active, it's almost as if he's going to crawl right out of his bed.  We're told that as he grows and gains weight, he'll weigh himself down and have to relearn all these tasks, especially as his head gets bigger.  In the meantime, look what he can do!

 

 

Finally, it was exciting to be by Isaac's side at 4:53pm, celebrating the beginning of his fifth day of life.   Every day is a miracle, filled with new growth (his ears are starting to pop out, instead of being flattened to his head), and so far, we've been fortunate enough to hear good news every day.  We know the next few months will be a roller coaster of ups and downs, good days and bad, but we're thankful for every good day and every new accomplishment.  We're so proud of our baby boy!

Friday

Friday was amazing.  Aaron and I both got to hold Isaac in the incubator.  The nurse taught us a two hand hold, on his head and his rump, providing steady pressure and NO moving or rubbing of any sort, which could lead to overstimulation of his nervous system or compromise his skin integrity.  It was amazing just to be able to have contact with him again and feel so close.  My favorite moment was when Isaac reached up with his hand and started rubbing Daddy's finger.  It brought tears to my eyes and is, at this point, the most amazing moment of my life to date.  Now that's what I call father/son bonding!

Daddy gives great hugs

  Amazing

 Love!

Saturday

Since Friday had been a hands-on day, we decided to keep Saturday very calm.  We still visited and talked to Isaac, but kept to quiet, soothing tones and gentle songs.  We look forward to a time when we can hold him and hug him whenever we'd like, but in favor of what is best for his current growth and development, we have to restrain ourselves for the present.

He had a great report card today.  We were informed that the excess fluid from birth had drained, bringing his weight from 1 lb, 7 oz down  to 1 lb, 4 oz.  They also believe that due to his body length and skin integrity, he may have been between 24-25 weeks gestation at birth, rather than the 23 weeks as originally estimated.  Every extra week of development is extremely beneficial, so we were thrilled to hear this.  We'll take every day we can get!  Finally, the head ultrasound came back great, showing no signs of any brain aneurisms, which we have been told is very common in tiny preemies and can lead to some serious issues.

Oh, and his left eye opened!  He can't see out of it yet, and will still have his mask on for many weeks to come to protect him from an overabundance of light, but it is officially unfused.  The right will probably follow some time in the next week.

One week down and we've had nothing but good news.  We've told to prepare ourselves for the roller coaster to come, but it's nice to have a steady week of progress and hope.  He may be tiny, but he's a fighter.  After all, the nickname Doozer means "something extraordinary or outstanding of its kind."

Our little Doozer